Wednesday, June 22, 2011

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Dear Kimberly,

You are a traitorous bitch.

Ever since you've started dating Kit, you're not funny. Your blog stinks and I will not be reading it anymore.

How could you do this to us? To women everywhere? I thought we were all in this together. We're supposed to be dating losers and sharing funny stories of how stupid the men are out there. We're supposed to be hopelessly searching for the ubiquitous love that eludes us all. If you've found it, that's hardly fair to the readers who thought we were in this TOGETHER. You have sold out the sisterhood of the single women for the fairy tale ending and happily ever after. You're just like the rest of them.

In summary, you are a quitter. You call this blog 100 Cups of Coffee but stopped at 92. I call that a failure. You gave up your true calling for what? To be part of some "couple"? If that's not the biggest hypocrisy on the planet, than I don't know what is.

Good luck with your book and your boyfriend. I'm sure it will all work out for you and your life will be just perfect. Seriously, screw you.

~ Marissa (Arizona)

Dear Kimberly,

Thank you for sharing your love story with all of us loyal readers. After hearing how many absolutely awful dates you went on last year, I'm so happy to hear that you are now dating Kit and things are going great for you both! I can only imagine how tough it must've been to be disappointed 92 times in a row. You stuck it out longer than I would've. 100 was such an ambitious number and personally, I think I woulda been done after like 4! Had someone thrown up on a date with me, there's no way I could have continued with a straight face. You're very brave. And possibly a little crazy.

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all the laughter over this last year. Your stories are hysterical and they mean so much more because they're true. You shared with us all your laughter and your tears and everything about you just seems so real. Even though we've never met, I feel like I know you and we'd be very good girlfriends in real life. Honestly, I relate to you better than some of my actual girlfriends. They just don't know what it's like to be single out there. All the frustration, the heartache, the searching. You know. And you're so honest about your experiences, I can't help but be hooked on this blog. I hope that even though you're dating Kit, you won't stop writing. We all need someone to live vicariously through while looking for our own Prince Charming.

Thanks again,

Jen (New Jersey)

Hmmm, who to write back to first?!?!


  1. I actually thought the first one was you being your sarcastic funny self until I read it had a signature. Tell that chick to put her big girl panties on! Maybe if she spent a little more time being LESS bitter she might have her "someone" too. <3