Cupcakes & Vibrators

Dear Mom,

Don't read this blog.

Love, Kim


I MISS SEX. Alright, there it is. I said it. I miss sex and I think about it all the time. (Seriously. ALL the time!)

What is it about sex that's just so damn good? What is it I'm missing so much? Sure, the physical stimulation is fantastic but that's not the best part for me. It's the connection to another person. It's the attentiveness of my partner. It's being made to feel as though I am the most special, beautiful, wonderful, sexiest woman in the whole world. I miss that feeling. I miss the intimacy. I miss that for a few minutes (hours if I'm lucky!) my partner's entire goal is to make me feel incredible, and vice versa. I miss the bedroom being the center of our coupled off little universe. I miss a man adoring me, holding me, touching me, pleasuring me. I miss the smile on his face knowing how happy he's making me. I miss sharing those naughty little secrets that only the two of us know about. I definitely miss kissing.

Don't get me wrong, being single has its perks. Complete control of the remote. Tons of time with your girlfriends. Cereal as an acceptable dinner option. Curling up in bed with a hot cup of tea and a deliciously good book. Yet there are nights (and mornings) when I'd rather be in bed with a hot man and deliciously good sex.

I try not to focus on it. I try to think about something, anything else. I try to avoid situations, movies, songs, etc that would make me want it more (if that's even possible!) Yet after surviving single life for as long as I have, it's time to take matters into my own hands.

Pun intended.

As part of my I Hate Valentine's Day (but I love LOVE) weekend, I wanted to do something super fun and exciting for not just the single women in my life, but for all my girlfriends. Married, divorced, separated, dating, engaged, happily single, unhappily single, gay, straight, tall, short, blonde, brunette, bubbly, quiet, outgoing, shy, experienced, curious, confused, overwhelmed, understated, passionate, creative, reserved, and hopeful. Every one of these women are different - I have no two friends the same. It's part of what makes my life so completely enjoyable. Yet get them together and it's the best of all worlds colliding. Monday night was the most fun I've had in a l-o-n-g time.

Monday night, I hosted a Passion Party.

Abby, our Passion Party consultant had on display the items from the "nice" catalog first. We rubbed pheromones on our wrists which works like perfume, except that ten minutes later, every one of us smelled different. Talk about bringing out our animal instincts! She showed us lotions, creams, plumping lip gloss, even candles that melt down into edible massage oil! We played a game shouting out the dirtiest words we could think of and I have to tell you, in all the years I've been friends with these women, I have never heard those words come out of their mouths. There were prizes involved and our competitive natures took over. Twelve ladies --- no holds barred!

The second half of the night was the toys from the "naughty" catalog which is when things got really interesting. We were ever so slightly hesitant at first about touching, feeling, and passing these gadgets around but there was no denying we were all intrigued. A few bottles of pink champagne got the girls to let go of those inhibitions because there was not one speck of judgement in that room. We were all there for the same reason - to love ourselves and our partners (where applicable) and to make our sex lives the best they could possibly be. If there was any doubt at all that these vibrators and other gizmos would bring us pleasure, we only had to follow Abby's instructions to touch them to our nose and times the sensation by four. I'm relatively certain that's when we all went from "I'm not sure if I'm buying anything" to "I can't decide which one to buy."

If I've learned anything about myself from being single, it's that I have to take the time and make the effort for me now because there's no one else to do it. It's the perfect excuse to be selfish, in a way I might never be able to again. Plenty of us girls were treating ourselves to a something special. Many others bought toys to share with their partners. For the first time in my life, what I buy, what I eat, what I wear, where I go,  how I spend my time --- it's all about ME. I don't have to think of anyone else. At all. It's incredibly freeing. I can have all the cupcakes and vibrators I want. There's no one to stop me.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a plain brown box in the mail with my name on it. Date night with myself. Bottle of wine. Box of chocolate. Extra batteries. And no socks left on the floor!