Friday, December 3, 2010

Coffee To Go, Part One

This is the story of how I took 100 Cups of Coffee on the Road


Why I drove 600 miles in one week for Red Velvet Cake Bites, deep fried lobster, and popcorn

Let me begin by saying that in the fifth grade, my teacher assigned everyone in our class a pen pal. This was some random kid in another school across the country that we would exchange letters with every week. I looked forward to these letters with so much enthusiasm, even though I'd never met the little girl writing them. I adore getting mail and as a kid, you really only receive birthday cards from your aunts and if you're lucky, postcards from bunkmates at summer camp (and even those peter out once fall starts and they go back to their school friends.)

About a year ago, my ex-boyfriend's new wife found me on facebook and we chatted a few times. She's really nice and they have the cutest little family together. While he will always be my first love, he is her Prince Charming and I'm incredibly happy for them. She started reading my blog and commenting on the posts. To this day, she has not missed one single entry. The girl knows how long it's been since I last wrote. She looks forward to waking up every morning and reading about my dating disasters with her (actual) cup of coffee. It's part of the routine and if she goes too long without a posting, I WILL hear about it!

This has never happened to me before. I was shocked by how fiercely loyal, supportive, encouraging, and kind this woman was seeing as we'd never met in person. She quickly became my pen pal, my confidante, and my true friend. I could tell her anything and vice versa. We'd commiserate about Dancing with the Stars (really, HOW did Bristol get so far???) and share our shock over Grey's Anatomy (did anyone see last season's finale coming? I didn't!) We'd even swap stories of what we were baking and taunt each other with the delicious smells of our respective kitchens. This is girl heaven!

We eventually took our relationship to the next level. I sent up birthday gifts for the children and she sent me a gorgeous plaque for my office wall. It hangs just above my computer every day as a reminder of why I'm writing this blog. Soon, we started texting and she's programmed into speed dial on my iPhone. One day, I needed to get the hell out of dodge and planned a road trip up to see some friends in Massachusetts and my little brother. I asked if I could stop over to spend time with her (and her husband). She was thrilled and excited. I'd been a little nervous to ask cause it felt like a first date but she was as warm and welcoming as ever.

I insisted I did not need anything fancy, I'd live on cheese and crackers for dinner. She scolded me that her children eat a balanced, nutritional meal and I would too! Wow, sorry mom!!! When I arrived (after six hours instead of four) she had roasted a freakin turkey with three vegetables on the side. Oh. My. God. Not only is she raising a pre-schooler and a one year old while being pregnant with baby number three, but she cooked a holiday feast and had dessert in the freezer.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go feel inadequate now!

Yet she didn't make me feel small at all. I busted out more gifts for the little ones (books of course) and she gave me a tin of her homemade red velvet cake bites. After dinner, I made us tea and when the kids went to bed, we swapped stories of lives lived abroad. We snuggled up into opposite ends of the couch and watched Dancing on tv while eating ice cream. (She remembered my favorite kind of ice cream from a blog post. Hello Stalker!!!)

All in all, it was the most comfortable, wonderful evening I could've spent with any one of my girlfriends.

When her husband came home after a very long day at work, he was a little taken aback to find both of us relaxing in the living room. He joked that it was like the Axis of Evil, two very smart women in the same room. We all chatted for a while and after she went to bed, he and I stayed up til four in the morning just catching up.

I know what you're thinking. She went to bed and left him alone with a girl he used to date until four am??? But it's not like that. You see, they have such a profound respect for each other and their marriage that there was NO chance of anything awkward happening. They trust each other implicitly because they both know the other would simply never break that trust. Never. No chance. No way. No how.

This is a foreign concept to me. I am an inherently skeptical and suspicious person. I have a very jealous nature. Yet she just wished us both good night and sailed upstairs with nary a worry in her mind. Someday, I aspire to be like them.

As much as it pains me to say it (because I've always been the wiser of us two) he made some very good points that night. With respect to my dating life, he suggested that I was going about things the wrong way. I was looking at this whole process with a defeatist attitude. That I might be better served by being a little more selective in whom I date, thus rendering me with better outcomes. While that is true, the purpose of going out with a hundred guys is to say yes to as many people as possible. It's about finding out who I want to date and who I definitely DON'T want to date. (You can argue that I've found more Don'ts than Do's!) Yet he assured me that I am a smart, beautiful, funny, outgoing girl (I'm still 16 in his mind) with a lot to offer and that I'll make an amazing wife someday. I just need to find the right husband.

Wow, dating advice from a boy who broke my heart fourteen years ago. It's like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

Sadly, I know he's right and he bet me $10 that I'd be in a serious relationship by this time next year on one condition: that I stop actively looking. No more dating losers because it's funny. No more charity cases. No more going out with guys who aren't worth my time. I'm just supposed to let it happen.

So if anyone knows a cute, available, normal single guy, please let me know and I'll text you my location. This way, we can run into each other accidentally on purpose. I'll share my $10 with you!!!


  1. Awe. <3 you woman.

    PS I mailed you your Christmas goodies today :)

    Your biggest Fan and Pen pal

  2. I have to agree with the advice. Once I stopped looking and was comfortable in my own skin, the person I most crave to fight the world with, was in front of me. It took a lot of wierdos and creeps to realize that I worth more than that. Now... he tells me I am beautiful every day, even when I look my worst.
    You will find the one.. I promise.

  3. Not gonna lie...the boy has some good advice!

  4. LOVE THIS!!

    Yes, he's right - you need to make your LIST of DO and DON'T and what you will survive with - take a year to digest all that you learned - YES, A YEAR. I did it after a horrible breakup of a long term relationship - and it was THE BEST thing for me and who I am. I became truly rooted in ME and clarified what I want. Then EHarmony came about in my life - 3 mo for a cheap cheap price, I filled it out - had my PRE-DETERMINED answers - I was NOT going to settle AT ALL. Three made the cut - one moved to Olympia WA - and we are still friends, and the other was a liar - not friends and the other....Jan 3, HE picked me and answered EVERY predetermined question almost IDENTICALLY as I'd written it. We are coming up on our 1 yr and I AM CRAZY happy about the relationship - there are a few issues, but suprise, suprise - he wants to TALK about things and RESOLVE

    Yes, don't settle!! But you have to know what you want FIRST!!