Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Look in the Mirror

As I get a little older, a little wiser, and up to my eyeballs in loser juice, I realize more and more things that I need from a relationship. Dating so many men in a short amount of time really puts things into perspective for a girl. The concept of not settling for anyone who didn't make me extremely happy was a foreign notion to me until a year ago. I just thought that guys gave whatever they wanted to and I was stuck accepting it. In the battle of "take it or leave it," I ALWAYS took it because I didn't know any better. Scratch that, I truly didn't believe that I deserved any better. If this is you, if you are thinking that your man is treating you like crap and you don't deserve any better, please do us both a favor right now: stop reading this blog. Step away from your computer and go take a good, long look in the mirror. Stare really hard into your own eyes and ask yourself "If this is as good as it gets, it that good enough for me???"

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Oh good, you're back! Well, what did you think? Are you willing to compromise who you are to stay with someone who doesn't make you laugh? Doesn't treat you well? Doesn't make you feel like the best you that you can possibly be? Before this project, I would've told you that I was the same way. Not demanding. Not looking for anything more than someone was willing to offer. Not anymore. Life is too short to wallow in your own unhappiness, especially if someone else is the source of it!

Let me ask you another question: if one of your girlfriends talked crap about you, was always in a pissy mood, didn't make you smile, refused to take care of you when you needed a shoulder to lean on, never initiated contact, etc - would you still call her a friend? Or would you muster the courage to walk away?

Dating is the same way! There are some really great guys out there if you're patient enough to wait for one to come along. I know it's hard, believe me. Many, many times I've found myself doing exactly what I tell you girls NOT to do. I sit by the phone waiting for some dipshit to call. I get aggravated when he doesn't and yet I find myself equally annoyed when he does. Or a boy I thought I was super interested in breaks things off with me and I cry about it because I let my feelings get hurt. Yet what was the real loss there? If he didn't want to be with me to begin with, then I have zero reason to be upset. Any man who makes you cry isn't worth ruining your mascara over in the first place.

You see, I don't want to be with a man who thinks that it would be "nice" to be with me. I don't want to be with someone who could "take me or leave me." I want to date someone who really, truly WANTS to date me. Someone who appreciates me, enjoys spending time with me, thinks he's lucky that he's the guy I'm dating. I want a man who loves waking up each morning and sending me a little 'hello' text and smiles when I'm the last person he says 'good night' to. I want a man who craves contact with me, giving each of us space to live our own lives, but also intertwining as much of ourselves as possible. I want to be with someone who adores me with every fiber of his being and doesn't freak out when I feel the same way about him. I know I deserve this just like I know I'll find it someday. And you, my dearest readers - you will too.


  1. <3
    Great entry! It definitely is out there. In my "old life" I thought that was as good as it could/should get...but here I am, happier than ever and proving to myself that I deserve this happiness and should never settle for less! :)

  2. Now I feel the essence of 100 Cups of Coffee. This one for me was from a healing and growing heart.