My four H's are: Honesty, Humor, Heart, and Hope.
While not always in that order, the whole purpose behind this blog is to find a balance between all four. I share my up's and down's with you. Why? Because I believe in doing everything whole-heartedly. Opening myself up to the possibility of love and joy in the world. Wearing my heart on my sleeve. The only way to get anything done is to put myself out there and really do it! Anything worth doing is worth doing 100% or not at all.
Honesty is always the best policy and not always one that we abide by, not even with our closest friends. How many of your girlfriends would tell you she slept next to a box of Thin Mints last night? Or cried during Once Upon A Time when Prince Charming tells Snow White, "I choose you." Isn't that what we're all looking for? Someone to look you in the eyes and say "I choose you. Today and every day. I am yours."
Love isn't always easy. It's messy and complicated and hearts get broken sometimes. Waking up with a pistachio in my hair or a butter knife under my pillow isn't getting me any dates. I know that. But maybe, just maybe, one of my incredible readers is tired of pretending everything is ok. Maybe you had your heart broken and don't want the world to know it still hurts. Maybe your friends are in awe of your strength, optimism and sunny disposition. And maybe you don't want them to know you tear up at Hallmark commercials or make love to a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough before bed each night. I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. Plain and simple.
The humor comes from knowing how ridiculous it sounds to wake up in the morning, fresh from a break up hangover and discover you ate Nutella straight from the jar? Margarine out of the tub? Oh the horror!!! I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself and weeping into the simple carbs. I am laughing at the insanity of the situation I find myself in.
The choices are laugh or cry. The choice is yours.
Finally, I look around at the mounting evidence of my heartbreak and ask myself, "How did I get here?" Wasn't it just five minutes ago that I was in a relationship? Facing the world as part of a couple, ready to take on life two-by-two? Whether you are going through a break-up or find yourself perpetually single, the answer is the same: You got here because it's where you need to be right now. Emphasis on right now. This is not where you're going to be forever. It's just a bump in the road. My hopeful romantic sides tells me that this is only one chapter in my story. Today, I woke up next to I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and I thought, "How did I get here?" But a year from now, five years from now, ten years from now, I will wake up next to a handsome husband in a house of our own with maybe a few little children sleeping peacefully down the hall and I will think, "How did I get here?"
The answer is: every bad date, every failed relationship, every attempt at finding someone, every pint of ice cream, every tear-stained tissue, every sleepless night led me here. Life will not always be wine coolers and late night pizza with girlfriends dissecting why it didn't work out with this guy or that guy. It's not about those mornings we want to hide under the covers and go back to sleep. It's not the weddings or the holiday parties or the birthdays we were embarrassed to show up at sans date. It's a collection of all these experiences that make us stronger, bolder, braver, happier, and eventually, more hopeful.
I could go back and edit Butter Knives & Broken Hearts. I could end it on a more upbeat note but that doesn't feel true to the sentiments I was feeling at that time. I'd be lying if I said this was easy, that it was all sunshine and roses every day. I'd be lying if I said I was loving my single life every day. Some days I am, some days I'm not. Some days are harder than others. Some days are simply fabulous. Some days you wake up next to a condiment of your choice. But every day is ok.