Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Boondock Bride

I would say that I'm generally a romantic person. I go out of my way to set the mood for love whenever the opportunity arises. I attempt to make even the daily, mundane activities with a partner more fun, exciting, intimate, and add in affection as often as possible. My emotions are written all over my face and my friends tell me I have "HEART FOR RENT" practically tattooed on my forehead. Except that I'm not looking to rent it out. I'd like to meet someone who's interested in a lease-to-own option with a balloon buyout following the courtship. Anything to avoid foreclosure!

That being said, I know what I'm looking for in a partner and what I'm willing to offer. It's taken me a long time to say that I know who I am and what I will / will not compromise on. The bigger things in life. The important things. The stuff that really matters. Like his choice in movies.

I know that this sounds crazy but think about it: could I really be with a man who didn't laugh at Mel Brooks? Never in a million years! I'm sorry but if you don't find Spaceballs or Men In Tights to be the funniest movies of all time, I assume you have no sense of humor and I cannot date you. If you didn't practically pee your pants while watching Robin Williams: Live On Broadway, again, we have zero future. And if you don't consider anything directed by Rob Reiner in the most romantic movies ever category, just keep on moving.

I didn't think that this would be such a big deal to me until I started writing to a certain boy on okcupid. Things were going so well between us. Shooting back message after message, playing the get to know you game, firing questions at each other in the hopes of discovering those little commonalities that would become the basis for our relationship. We have similar tastes in ice cream flavors (mint chip), favorite months of the year (September / October), places we want to travel (cross country and up the West Coast), awesome comfort food (mac n cheese and pizza), and even how we prefer to spend our free time (weekend road trips.) Then I asked him what movie he'd pick if he could only watch one for the rest of his life. He answered Good Will Hunting. I'm in love already! Boston is my favorite city (besides New York...calm down!!!) and there are so many quotable lines from the film, it's just a fantastic choice all around. He asked me the same question and I said The Princess Bride. HE'S NEVER SEEN THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!

I know what you're thinking. How can that be? Everybody and their brother knows "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." There are even t-shirts with the Hello My Name Is... badge complete with that quote! (Thanks The movie is filled with sword fighting, adventure, war, romance, comedy, a giant, four white horses and Fred Savage as a little kid. You can't ask for anything more than that! And yet my guy had never seen this 1987 masterpiece. I'm not sure I can date someone who when I say "Inconceivable!" does not automatically respond with "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Alas, we seem to have gone our separate ways in terms of allowable time between internet messages but never fear, I always have a backup conversation going! This guy was really nice, an accountant (big surprise for me), and lived close by. We met for a quick bite to eat and started talking about the little things that make us happy. Of course, music, tv and movies are always mentioned in someone's "interests" columns and he told me that his favorite film of all time is Boondock Saints. Which, of course, I have never heard of.

He was pretty upset that I'd seen nor heard of this movie. Actually, upset is an understatement. He was angry, outraged, indignant and offended that I had never seen this movie. He told me that he couldn't date someone who'd failed to watch Boondock Saints and insisted that we head back to his house immediately to view it. He added that if I didn't LIKE the movie, we would never work out but if I did like it, there was even a sequel we could catch up on. Oh, and I could make him dinner while I was there.

My response? "And then you wake up!"

I mean, come on. Who doesn't date a person just because they've never seen your favorite movie? Oh... wait...

Copyright Kimberly Spice 2010


  1. Boondock Saints was awesome! And Princess Bride is classic romance ... I think you two just need to introduce the movies to each other.

  2. shoot! I hit the wrong button before I finished typing! Damn being blond! To continue ... but he needs to cool it on the movie preferences ... definitely not a do or die category!

  3. There's just something appealing about someone who can quote all of the best movies from the last 30 or so years...

    Tell me about it, stud! (Grease)

    Billy Idol gets it. I don't see why she doesn't get it. (The Wedding Singer)

    I carried a watermelon... (Dirty Dancing)

    Aaaaas yoooouuuu wiiiiissssshhhhhh! (The Princess Bride)

    Cinder-fuckin-rella! (Pretty Woman)

    FREEDOM!!!! (Braveheart)

    Don't you think???
    P.S. These are mostly girl movies but, well, I'm a girl.

  4. @Maria, Great quotes!

    @Kim, Ben had never seen Princess Bride. I found this out when I was pregnant with Savannah and within an half hour I had snack food and the DVD in the player for him to watch with me.

    I totally had the same reaction you did. Who hasn't seen Princess Bride?!!!! I think the conversation and the whole unveiling actually started when I said "inconceivable" and he didn't say anything in reply. lmao