Confidence

So the follow up (and what I hope is the ending) to the Trekkie Virgin saga is that I got a text message from him today. Mind you, it's been two whole weeks since our third date and I've heard nothing. There hasn't been a peep from him which I was grateful for cause it kinda let me off the hook from having to break his heart. I HATE hurting people's feelings, even if they're people I barely know and owe nothing to. I don't like doing it. I've been raised to be a sweet, kind, generous girl with room for everyone in my heart. Seriously, my mother is terrified of how many stray kittens or homeless people I will bring home on just about a daily basis. Plus, I've had my heart broken enough to know that it isn't a pleasant feeling for anyone and I would not want to be the source of unnecessary pain. Especially for a man who is clearly as fragile as this poor, awkward boy.

You can understand my sense of relief when he simply stops calling and texting. On the one hand, I did tell him about my writing on the third date and was relatively sure he'd read it and given up hope that I was serious about wanting a relationship with him. On the other hand, I was slightly miffed that he hadn't even bothered to send a "thanks, but no thanks" message. I wanted to know either way so I could close that chapter in the book and move on. Although he did save me the trouble of being the one to say "this isn't gonna work out". I've felt very conflicted.

You can imagine my surprise when he texted me out of the blue today with "Good morning, beautiful. Sorry I've been incommunicado lately. I caught a cold and it's been a rough week...or two... I have a meeting tonight at 8."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???

First of all, you're going to fall off the grid and blame a cold??? Really??? I've had a sniffly nose and a nasty cough since last Friday also but seriously, you would not have been able to pry my phone out of my hands. I still talk to my friends online and answer emails and send messages. I still show up to places I'm supposed to be and I'm guessing he didn't call out sick from work so he's seriously telling me he was too busy sneezing to talk to me after three dates?!?! This is unacceptable.

Secondly, if you are going to ignore me for this long of a time period, don't I (at the very least) deserve a phone call and an apology? LIke a real one... that doesn't involve details about the board meeting schedule for your bowling league! Honestly, men have NO class anymore. Whoever said chivalry was dead probably invented that theory approximately 30 seconds after online dating was created. Because it sucks the romance out of...well...romance!

My response to him (cause I know you were wondering) was "Hey, I didn't hear from you for two weeks so I assumed we weren't dating anymore. Sorry :-( " and I've heard nothing back. You'd think he'd inquire if we could still date or if I started dating someone else but no such happenings. This man never made a move to kiss me, touch me, or otherwise encroach on my personal space, to the point that the Holy Ghost always had a place between us as though at a Catholic school dance. He took no initiative and perhaps it's because he was scared to make a move but men, if you're listening, confidence is sexy! Women love guys who are not cocky, arrogant or full of themselves (because let's face it, the world revolves around girls, not boys) but that know who they are and aren't afraid to show it. Men who carry themselves with pride and possess some level of self-esteem. If you're going to hang your head, stick your tail between your legs and crawl into the shame corner, why on Earth would we want to mate with you? We like strong, smart, sexy male specimens who walk tall without strutting like a peacock or pounding fists on their chests like hairy apes.

So the next time you ask "What does it take to impress a girl?" don't focus on your outfit or your haircut or your salary. Think about your attitude and demeanor. We can smell fear. If you act like a scaredycat, we'll know and will most likely run the other way. If you are confident in who you are, even if you're a 32 year old virgin with a penchant for science fiction fantasies, you do stand a chance with even the prettiest and smartest of girls. But for heaven's sake, pick up the phone and call her!

Not you, Mets fan. We are SO over!

Copyright Kimberly Spice 2010