He messages me first with a wink, then a real email. It's short, simple, to the point.
Hey, I think ur pretty. Would luv to chat sometime.
Ok, fine, I will try to ignore the fragments of grammatical laziness in that sentence and focus on the rest of his profile. I respond with a thanks for the wink and some generic questions. He tells me he's 30, lives alone in a condo he bought last year, has 2 sisters who live in towns nearby, and he works full time. Good start.
Then I get this:
wat do u do 4 work
wat time do u work wats ur fav movie, music, food, color do u drive do u got any tats or piercings
hav u ever been arrested do u got nice feet do u get ya nails done
I'm sorry, since when are manicures a prerequisite for dating? What exactly constitutes "nice feet"? And how come every man who messages me can't seem to form a coherent sentence or for that matter, type out a THREE LETTER WORD?!?!?!?! I know I've said this before people and I'm sorry to harp on it. But if you can't be bothered, then neither can I.
In case you're wondering, here are the answers to those questions (a reply he never got):
I'm a writer. I date losers for a living.
What time? Whenever I can fit them into my busy schedule of sleeping in and pedicures.