Saturday, November 6, 2010

Picky, Picky

Here's a little nugget of fun for you:

I started talking to this guy online about a month ago. We always had decent email exchanges and he seemed (as they all do) normal at the time. His pictures were all of his face and he was by no means bad looking. Some might even say mildly attractive. While there were no full body photos, he told me that he goes to the gym every day. Every single day. The only time he missed was when he had the flu for a week (and only for the safety of other clients.) Otherwise, he's there working out for 30 - 90 minutes. That's an average of 7 hours at the gym every week. That's 364 hours per year. Who the hell has more than 15 straight days of spare time to get on a treadmill or lift weights? Honestly, wouldn't you rather take a vacation? But I guess he gets more for his membership than I do. I did the math. I pay $60 a month for my gym membership. If I go once a week, that's $15 per session. If I go twice a week, it's $7.50 a session. He goes EVERY day. Which means that for the same monthly dues, his workouts only run him about $2!

Why am I throwing all these numbers at you? Because when we finally got on the phone, I asked him "Why the obsession?" He replied, "Well the first 60 pounds came off pretty quickly. I really have to work for the rest."

He had 60 pounds to lose and he's not done yet? Hmmm, this requires more investigating.

Me: Wow, that's really impressive. It must've been hard for you to lose all that weight.
Him: Nope, it was pure fat. It just kinda melted off.
Me: Oh, so what inspired you to finally get rid of it?
Him: I don't know. Just realized after the heart attack that I wasn't quite as healthy as I thought.
Me: Heart attack? Isn't 30 a bit young for a heart attack?
Him: It's more common than you think. I'm better now but I still have a long way to go.
Me: How much further is your goal weight?
Him: 120 pounds.
Me: You want to be 120 pounds?
Him: No, I want to lose another 120 pounds.
Me: On top of the 60 you already lost?
Him: Yes. So that would be about 180 pounds. I might stop there, depending how I look and feel.
Me: That's a lot of weight.
Him: There's plenty more where that came from!
Me: How are you feeling about it all?
Him: I'm starting to not recognize myself. This is the first time I've been less than 400 pounds. I don't know what I'll look like at 300. And I can't even imagine myself at 200.
Me: It's a big goal. You're very dedicated to go every day.
Him: Yeah well, I have a lot of free time on my hands.
Me: What do you do besides going to the gym?
Him: I work.
Me: Right. What else?
Him: Not much.
Me: Do you go out?
Him: Not really.
Me: Do you hang out with your friends?
Him: Nah. Don't really have too many friends.
Me: Do you have activities you enjoy doing?
Him: Nope. Just work, the gym, and tv. I like to curl up with my cats. My cats are my best friends.
Me: Wow, so when you said you were too busy to go out on a date this week or next, what was that about?
Him: I don't know. I guess I'm kinda scared of dating.
Me: Then why'd you sign up for the dating website?
Him: Cause I can't find any girls I really like. I think I'm too picky.

Just to be clear: the 400 pound cat lover with no friends thinks that he's single because he's too picky?!?!

I believe it's time to hang up now.


  1. wow....where do you FIND these people? I never speak to people on the internet if I can see a photo!

  2. In all fairness, there were pictures of his face...just nothing from the neck down. Shoulda been a clue, right?

  3. Oh my! You have a lot of courage...I love your stories. Good luck and keep writing :o)

  4. I have sooo been here! I feel bad for the guys but at the same time, no one forced them to sign up for a dating website!

    I love your stories :) I finally don't feel so alone in the crazy ass world of online dating!

  5. Hah! I know alot of women who post the face only pics and are a train wreck from the neck down...funny to think guys do that too.