Friday, February 17, 2012

The Bad & The Ugly

Hi Kim,

There is something that I wanted to share with you.  Your blog has helped me in more ways then you know.  I have laughed, cried and my hope has been renewed.  It has even been a big wake up call for me.  When you first posted about finding out what Kit had done, I was so angry!  I have been cheated on and now, I am ashamed to admit, I have been the cheater.  

I met Mark eight years ago and it started out as friends because he told me he was married.  As the years went on we got closer and closer.  I honestly didn't think anything of it because we have never had sex.  We would e-mail daily and talk on the phone occasionally.  We did go out to dinner one night but that's as public as it ever got.

When I read your blog about finding those IM's, I was angry at Kit and I was angry at Erica.  How could he do that to you and how could she do that knowing there was someone else in his life.  Then I began reading those instant messages and I sat back in shock.  I was actually sick to my stomach.  I was in a "Kit and Erica" relationship.  As I read your other blogs about the pain you were going through, I knew what I had to do.  I never want to be the cause of someone's pain. Even though his wife didn't know about me doesn't change the fact that what I was doing was so wrong.

I quickly typed out an e-mail stating that I could no longer continue in this type of relationship.  I told him that I hope he and his wife could get their relationship back to the way it use to be but that this was not fair to any of us.  I hit send and then immediately went to my inbox settings and blocked his e-mail address, then did the same with his phone number.  I don't want to know what his reply would have been because there is nothing he could say that would change my mind.

I just wanted you to know how much your blog has meant and how much it has helped me.



There is absolutely nothing I can say in response to this email besides THANK YOU. I am so incredibly proud of you. You stood up not only for yourself and for Mark's wife, but for women everywhere who simply refuse to betray each other. If I played any part in that decision, even in the smallest way, I feel like this blog has served its purpose and maybe - just maybe - the hurt and confusion and heartbreak I went through served a greater purpose. I could never have known that at the time. I couldn't see anything past my own pain. While I wasn't obligated to share it with the whole world, something inside me shouted "You have to!!!" I've been an open book about all my relationships: good, bad, and ugly, since the beginning. I couldn't stop there. I couldn't just share the good, the lighthearted, the funny situations. I had to share the bad and the ugly. I had to let you know what I was going through. And while what you read on here was bad, it was the tip of the iceberg, trust me. But there are women like you who needed to read it, who needed to know what was going on. My goal is to make my friends - new and old - feel less alone in what they're dealing with. Their joys, their sorrows, their silliness, their lust, their loneliness - all of it! So thank you for letting me know that what I'm doing matters to just one person. Thank you for making a difference :-)

BIG hugs, 


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