Thursday, March 7, 2013

Twinkster Et Al

In retrospect, the men who reply to Craigslist ads are NOT the same men who read the NY Times. Not even close. Here is a sampling of the initial responses I received. (In other words, the emails I didn't write back to!) Please feel free to laugh at any and all of these guys, and remember --- I'm dating the losers so you don't have to, but even I have my limits!

Hey to be upfront I'm looking for a fwb only cause of our age gap difference but I have a taste for older women and I live close and just a real cool guy to hangout with though not so pushy for benefits unless ur wanting it too. Lets be friends who cares lol I'm 20 btw

So to be clear, you're looking for a "friends with benefits" except without the benefits? WTF?

OHHHHHH the hobbit good movie i want to go see,,, Honestly he scares me a little,, MY PRECIOUS... LOL,,,, Anyway ,,, I guess im kinda a nerd,,,,, I have a little house, im self employed with 3 business,s and I go to school at night,,, Have a car ,, not a bum etc... And I just got a new big TV that we can watch if we enjoy our first date.... I have pics to share as well... O and i enjoy boating, fishing, Long rides, nature walks , dont laugh at me... Or sun bathing on my boat,,, Im 32.. Thanks,,, Have a magical day.....

If you don't work at Disney World, you have zero business wishing me a magical day. Also, I am terrified at the thought of whatever your three businesses may be. Code for drug dealer???

Hello sweetie I would like a nice woman who is honest truthful one man woman who doesn't lie cheat steel and she has to like sex my email is twinkster at hotmail dot com

Wow. Just wow.

Hey beautiful ~ I'm a philosophical poet didn't you know it~ really I love words they have there own little solar sytems~ I love music too especially JAZZ~ just looking for cool not crazy but fun open-minded people~ give me a call ~ what part of life intrigues you the most~ I hope you get back to me~ my favorite food is probably sandwiches cause you can make them athousand different ways and even if they suck you could dip them in a thousand different very tasty condiments~

Sandwiches. Your lead-in is sandwiches? Jazz I could've gotten on board with. Poetry (even though you suck at it) still might've hooked me. I have never wanted to date a man for his affinity for ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, or whatever 997 condiments remain. 

Hi Sweetie,   How are you doing?Hope you have a nice day with you...well i just browse through the site and got your advert interest and would like to know about you because Life is very short and i am so much afraid of growing Old alone.. wanna grow Up with some full with fun and compatible to grow Old together.I'm very laid-white and down-to-earth. I'm also very old-fashioned when it comes to my respect and treatment for women.I'm a social wine drinker but a non-smoker,have a great sense of humor and like to spend time with someone i Love, and loved tell me about yourself and send me picture so that we go from there...Nice meeting you and waiting to read back from you. 

That's not even English. May I have a translator please?

wow your the ideal women any man would want right?
u just want someone to spend money on u right?
why not go do something for your self

Yes, I am. No, I don't. Oh look...I just did! Ps: Fuck You! Love, Kimberly

1 comment:

  1. "really I love words they have there own little solar sytems"

    Really? I think if you loved words so much maybe you would respect them enough to spell "systems" and "their" properly?