Thursday, January 27, 2011
Baby, It's Cold Outside
Days like today fill me with dread. Being single has its ups and downs throughout the year but there is one particular time of year when a girl needs a boyfriend / husband more than ever...Snow shoveling day.
The actual, physical act of shoveling snow sucks BIG time. I understand that as a resident in the NorthEast region of America, winter blizzards are par for the course. Although the accumulation rates have skyrocketed in the years since my divorce. Coincidence? I think not. Mother Nature is an angry beast who clearly had her heart broken in the past and plans on doling out retribution to the rest of the world. How better show one's disdain than blasting Arctic winds and burying vehicles and homes alike under mounds and mounds of heavy, wet demon fluff?
The after-wrath of such a storm wreaks havoc on a single girl mentally, physically, and emotionally. We all hope the the magical snow-moving elves have secretly dug out our cars and sidewalks for us, not to mention a pathway out the door to get to said places. We hide under our dark covers, secretly wishing that a task force of gorgeous men with snow-blowers, shovels and plows appeared in the night and that maybe, just maybe, if we stay in bed long enough, they'll have time to finish the job. Most likely however, unless you are plying your neighbors with freshly baked cookies and / or sexual favors, you are left to do the drudgery yourself. You come in after hours of back-stretching, muscle-burning, wind-swept hell to defrost a little and regain feeling in your outer extremities. You have to peel off layer after layer of cold, wet clothing, only to find the stray piece of ice has broken loose from your hair and slid down your one remaining layer of protection. There is no one to share a warm shower with, no one to indulge in a steaming mug of chocolate with extra marshmallows and whipped cream, no one to massage your tendons back in place.
During a January storm, single girls can be found on the couch, curling up with a bag of Lindor truffles and Mrs Doubtfire on cable television. While I appreciate the alone time, I occasionally make the mistake of glancing in the direction of my hourly news source: Facebook. The status updates from my coupled friends are all the same: "So lucky I have a wonderful husband to keep me warm tonight," "Cuddling with my baby in the blizzard - sooooo romantic," and my personal favorite "The power hasn't gone off yet but we're gonna light candles and pretend it has! Ooh, it's cold outside but it's hot in here :-)"
This really sucks.
It's not so much that I want a boyfriend really badly. It's just that I took for granted all those times I had one. Being single has made me appreciate being in a couple that much more. Times when I didn't have to do certain things for myself. There are women in my life who are strong enough to handle everything on their own and then some. They put my to-do list to shame. I admire their unwavering courage and aspire to imitate their brave outlooks.
Yet I cannot help thinking that winter would be much more manageable with a boyfriend and a snowblower!