Sunday, January 2, 2011
Peppers of Death
We could not be any more opposite than if we were literally Night and Day.
This is what I'm thinking as I get to know a man I really like. There are so many redeeming qualities about him, so many wonderful things I look for in a partner. He's generous and kind and considerate and sweet and thoughtful and funny and smart and has amazing friends and a great family and a stable job... and we do not have one single thing in common. Not. One. Thing.
Exhibit A) He loves spicy food. Burn your mouth off hot food. Mexican restaurants. Red pepper flakes, chili and cayenne in every dish. I am allergic to peppers. Should I ever attempt to walk into a Chili's, please have 911 on speed dial cause the only way I'm leaving that place is in an ambulance. Hopefully with the ability to breathe and a cute new EMT boyfriend.
Exhibit B) He's influenced by Eastern tradition and cuisine. Loves Thai, Indian and Asian cultures. I am very Mediterranean, fond of French, Italian and Greek ways. He prefers to eat his meals with chopsticks. I get nauseas at the thought of sushi, curry, or bubble tea. He hates chicken parm. I will eat anything with melted cheese on it. He wants to travel around the world. I need look no further than Europe. Perhaps a hot man with an accent will take me home with him and teach me how to make fresh pasta?
Exhibit C) Netflix: In my queue are Valentine's Day, The Tudors, The Other Sister, Sabrina, and Babies. In his queue is Zombie Strippers, Bitch Slap, and Tron. On my iPod is country music. He's convinced that all country music is about one's truck, wife, dog, and gun (NOT true btw!) Marry Me by Train is my new favorite love song. He would like to punch Pat Monahan in the face if given the opportunity. I have an iPhone. He has a POS. Something tells me that romance was easier before the invention of modern technology.
The list truly goes on and on and every time I ask a question, I get the exact opposite answer to what I was hoping for! We can agree that Frankie, Dino and Sammy were the best of the Rat Pack but beyond that, there seems to be no compromise. He cracks Wookie jokes left and right while I have never seen the original Star Wars. I laugh every time someone makes a "ruckus" whereas he doesn't know who the basketcase, the princess, the nerd, the jock and the rebel are! (Bonus points if you do.)
Is this a case of disparity in upbringing? Is it the timeless battle between the sexes? Or do some equations simply lack a common denominator?