Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Financially Stable

So this one blows my mind.

I'm talking to this guy and he's really nice. Seems like a genuine, honest, down to Earth person with a solid head on his shoulders and a good heart. He runs a charity company in memory of his dad who passed away from cancer. Lives in Long Beach and works in the city. We spent many days sending emails / chats / texts back and forth getting to know each other to the point that I really thought I could trust him. We'd just started spending time together when I was comfortable enough to send a "good morning" message simply to say hi and I'm thinking about you. Who doesn't want to hear that, right?

What I got back was completely unexpected.

I think you're a really cool girl but I'm looking for someone who's financially stable. Good luck in your search. Take care.

Excuse me???

Let me be clear, I have student loans like everyone else my age. I don't own a home yet (also like everyone else my age). And I'm not bragging about pensions, savings plans, stock options or IRA's (I actually have NO idea what that stands for.) But I bought my own car. I pay my own bills every month. I have several business ventures going quite well for me at the moment and I'm *clearly* writing a soon-to-be million dollar bestseller. You want to walk away from me because I don't have a "real job"?!?!

How shall I put this...I got married very, very young. I lived in Europe for several years and traveled places most people only dream of. I've had gelato for breakfast in Rome, baguettes with Nutella in Paris, and deep fried Mars bars in Edinburgh. I can point you in the direction of the best pubs in London, show you how to jump off cliffs in Wales, and teach you how to order churros and hot chocolate in Barcelona. I've traversed the continent by train, ferry boat, and even cable car. I lived a fascinating, exciting, exhilarating life abroad.

And then I got divorced.

And laid off.

And sick.

Do I live with my parents now? Yes. Will I live with them forever? No. Why did I have to move back home? Because I'm studying for 3 Master's degrees which was more important to me than keeping my former married apartment.

Did I have a full time job? Yes. I worked 40+ hours a week with a great salary and full benefits. I was terminated because private schools can fire you whenever they want for whatever reason they come up with. Will I go back to teaching? Maybe. But I much prefer having a life of my own.

See folks, the thing about being your own boss is that it's kind of addicting. I never have to call in sick on a day when I don't feel good. I never have to ask to take a vacation day or worry that I don't have time to use up, because my time is just that: MY time. I don't report to anyone (other than you, dear readers.) I don't have to apologize for anything. If I get my work done, I get paid. If I don't, no one loses out but me. I'm responsible for myself. This feeling is simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who can bring you a picnic lunch just about any day of the week because I'm not stuck in some depressing cubicle somewhere???

Sigh...sadly he prefers the sort of woman with a "regular" job, not the independent venturer that I am. To each his own, I suppose. Still, I cannot help but consider the irony of writing this soon-to-be best selling memoir which will afford me the financial freedom I so crave and including his story in it. As it happens, his rejecting me brought me one cup closer to the end goal of reaching my 100 disastrous dates in the hope of finding true love. And one cup closer to my dream of being a published author. And one cup closer to laughing about the day that this future millionaire was rejected for not being financially stable.

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