300

He catches my attention by saying that he loves country music, one of my "6 things I can't live without" list. This starts the conversation rolling along and about a dozen emails later, we're texting. About 100 texts later, we're on the phone. And a few conversations later, we're meeting up for dinner.

I'm wondering if I should be worried that he chose a pizza place for dinner? And not a very good one. Chain pizza. In New York. Hmmmmmm....

Anywho, I arrive and see him standing in front of the restaurant and he's huge. I mean, huge. I can't stop myself from being polite and giving him a hug hello but lemme put it this way: I couldn't wrap BOTH arms around him and have them even come close to touching in the back. This is not good.

I tell myself that he's still a nice guy and worth getting through dinner with. He tells me I'm even more beautiful than my photos. I say he doesn't exactly look like his photos, when were they taken. He laughs and says "About 50 pounds ago."

Really? Why do people do this? Put up photos of yourself from this decade please!!!

Here's the clincher: He smiles at me and says this has happened before, women have reacted to his weight. One girl met him in person, took one look at him, said "Oh" and walked away! Needless to say they didn't even get to the dinner portion of the date. He's grateful I'm not as rude as she was and have given him a chance. I detect a sarcastic sense of pride though when he says "I'm just over 300 pounds now. But I wear it well, don't you think?"

No. I'm sorry. Unless you're 7 feet tall, there is no way to wear 300 pounds well. Ever.