Fire & Brimstone

Alright, I signed up for yet another new dating site, which puts me at 5 right now (you wanted to know where I'm meeting these guys). Well, this dude emailed me to say that he noticed on my profile that I was Christian and asked how serious I was about my faith.

I'm Lutheran. For those of you who don't know, Lutheran is like Catholic Light. All the faith, half the guilt. You've heard of Jewish guilt. You've heard of Catholic guilt. But you've never heard of Lutheran guilt. There are exceptions to this rule. Reasons for Lutheran guilt: not singing a 4 part harmony during all of our 12 hymns on a Sunday service. Not bringing a home made dish to yet another potluck dinner. Failing to sign your kids up for basketball or LYO. Making your mother give you dirty looks during the sermon for squirming in your seat or talking to the girls in the pew behind you. That's about it. Lutherans are all about love, mercy and social ministry. Communing with God, but even more so, with each other. It's a fun, family, friendly environment where all are welcome to worship and come for drinks afterwards.

Well this guy is a Pentecostal. I'm talking Book of Revelations type stuff. Fire and brimstone. Hell and damnation. Condemning our souls to an eternity of misery for being selfish sinners and repenting in the eyes of the Lord. Why am I giving you this religious education? Because I told him that while I believe everyone is free to practice whatever they choose, Pentecostal is the only kind of Christianity that scares the bejeezus out of me (pardon the pun). Here is his exact response:

Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with "hellfire and brimstone" preaching. The message is basic: admit you are a sinner, confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, ask Him to come into your heart to save you and forgive you of your sins and live your life striving to learn more about Him and have a relationship with Him or....hellfire and brimstone. We were all condemned to hell, but by His blood we are saved! I understand this type of preaching is fear-mongering and dramatic, but the choice is simple. If you believe in Him and earnestly accept Him as your Lord and Savior, He will work mightily in your life. To have His love, His grace and His peace is worth more than anything!!!!!!!

If you want to check-out a sermon from my church: http://www.liquidchurch.com

In answer to your question, no, I'm not even MEETING this one in person. I like my coffee with a little more sugar and a little less hellfire, thank you very much.