Monday, April 26, 2010

Air of Mystery

He's a pilot. Small, acrobatic planes. Stunts in the air. Very dangerous. We all love men with a daredevil side, right? Until we want to marry them, of course. Then it's time to settle down and stop doing stupid things like flying upside down. But while dating? Perfectly acceptable.

Besides, every girl I know loves a man in uniform. Pilots...have absurdly hot uniforms!

After chatting for what feels like months online, we finally get the chance to meet up and talk in person. Figuring small talk is a good way to start out, I ask how his weekend was. "Good, I got to spend time with my little girl."

And by little girl, do you mean a very small dog???

"No, that'd be weird! Who calls their dog a little girl?!?!"

Um, I don't know. Who waits several months to mention he's got a kid?

"My daughter. She's 18 months old. We spent Saturday together. Saw Elmo Live. I thought it was torture but she loved it. We got her all dressed up like Abbey Cadabby with the pigtails and magic wand and everything. Here, I have her picture."

So that's what we did for the next half an hour. Looked at pictures of his daughter. Her at the show. Her in the shopping cart at the grocery store. Her trying on big girl shoes. Her sleeping. Her with books. Her watching cartoons. His entire phone memory was full of pictures of his daughter. And why shouldn't it be? Proud father, I get that.

As for the situation is with her mother? Married for a year, her family didn't like him, she has custody but he's got every weekend with the kid, hence having to meet me on a weekday. Hmmm, this is sounding all too familiar.

See, I just broke up with someone who had a beautiful little girl. She & I got very close over the years I was dating her daddy. So perhaps I'm a bit wary of phrases like "her mother and I are still very close," "we're in the process of getting a divorce," and "she'll always be a part of my life." Let's face it, we all have ex'es in our past. I, myself, am a divorced woman. But I no longer see or speak to my former husband. He's an ancient part of my existence. When you're divorced with a kid, you HAVE to see / speak to that person every day or at least every week. I will never be #1 in his life. There's just no room.

On top of which, "in the process of getting divorced" is not the same as actually BEING divorced. There's an ongoing mud fight there through which innocent bystanders need not be dragged.

And might I point out that he failed to mention said child for quite some time leading up to our encounter? Which leads me to think: if he's hiding this, than what other secrets are there? What mysteries still have yet to unfold? In the interest of full disclosure, perhaps certain facts such as "I'm missing a gall bladder" can wait. But "I spawned a real, live person who resides with me 48 hours out of each week?!?!" That really oughtta be up there on Top 10 Things You Don't Forget to Mention Before a First Date.

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